Los Angeles, California + Toledo, Ohio
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Alison’s really feeling Ink Master. Her latest binge has her wondering if she would be willing to be a “human canvas” for these aspiring tattoo artists. The answer is yes.
Lulu is obsessed with using her seat warmers, despite the fact that it is getting a bit too warm for it to be enjoyable. It’s just so relaxing to have that heat on your glutes, know what she means?
Alison is still on her kitchen improvement kick, and excitedly shares that her wishlist item for this week is none other than these serve-or-store flipping food jars. Yeah, just go take a look, you’ll probably also want this kitchen accessory you didn’t know existed before this very moment.
Lulu is wishing for some ease for actors in limbo due to whether or not productions are equity or not. She’s looking at you, Orlando Shakes!
Lulu decides to stay at notorious celebrity hideaway Chateau Marmont in the heart of West Hollywood. This hotel can tell some pretty wild tales from it’s storied past (and present) - one of Lulu’s favorites being that James Dean jumped through the roof of a bungalow while auditioning for Rebel Without a Cause - but for the most part its lips are sealed à la their slogan “always a safe haven”. The allure of this place and its celebrity clientele is well documented, though its worth noting that the hotel property in and of itself is a sight to see, as it embodies many eras of art and design. The main building exudes Golden-era Hollywood energy, the poolside cottages embody the Arts and Crafts period, while the hillside bungalows are pure mid-century magic.
While the elevated rooms, suites, cottages and bungalows are infinitely ‘gram worthy, according to Oyster.com, the standard rooms leave much to be desired. If the goal of your visit is a celebrity sighting, it’s better to stay elsewhere and drink or dine at their bar or restaurant instead.
Since Lulu has an imaginary $10,000 to spend on her one-day-getaway in the "City of Angels", she is going to book the Premiere One Bedroom Suite that comes in at just under a thousand dollars a night. It boasts a spacious living room and king-sized bedroom, a full kitchen and dining room, and a terrace with views of the Sunset Strip. Fair warning to her and all our readers, you can get kicked out for taking pictures on the premises. This is truly a place to party in private for the upper echelon of Hollywood’s elite. To bring a little bit of that lifestyle into her everyday, Lulu purchases some hotel brand merchandise, specifically a keychain and a bathrobe as souvenirs.
Lulu is going to be living it up while in La La Land… so first on the luxury must-have list is an all-day booking with Blacklane, our favorite black car service provider! The first spot they take her to is The Butcher, The Baker, The Cappuccino Maker, a Cali-fresh cuisine meets European styling spot, known for their color burst lattes and a Bloody Mary whose cocktail stick has a ham and gruyere sandwich on it!
Next up is a Ferrari California Driving Tour. Lulu can’t believe she gets to get behind the wheel of a Ferrari, drive down the Hollywood Walk of Fame then up to the Hollywood sign, or rather to a spot where you can get a great shot of you with the car and the sign in the background. Starting at $109, this experience can accommodate up to 3 people, though not having to argue over who gets to drive it is a perk of Lulu traveling alone.
Next it’s time for a nosh, and luckily she has her car and driver her to take out to the Artesia suburb to indulge at Cafe 86, a Filipino-influenced bakery/café whose love of all things ube has more than earned them their apt self-description of “Ube Nerds”. We’re talking truffles, tiramisu, egg pie, and many other delectable dishes made using the purple cousin of the sweet potato. Oh and the ube leche flan cupcakes are definitely calling out to Lulu. She’s excited that even with ordering nearly every ube item on the menu her total came to just $70.05…which means an average tip could bring her to $86. Get it $86 at Cafe 86? Lulu loves herself some numbers symmetry, almost as much as she loves Ube desserts.
Time for an evening out in Tinsel Town. Lulu has hired professionals to do her hair, makeup, and a mani/pedi through Glamsquad, where they come to you! While they are getting her all dolled up, she also adds on their makeup bag edit service through their new virtual glam on demand app feature, and also gifts one to Alison.
Her first stop of the night is the Magic Castle, home of the Academy of Magical Arts. Visits and memberships require you be invited by a member or be a guest at the adjacent hotel. This Victorian mansion has been restored and retrofitted to include secret rooms and features, including three theaters with nightly shows and a restaurant. Lulu purchases the temporary (one-month) non-magician, non-resident “open sesame” membership for $250. She’s very intrigued by the promise of enthralling magic, of course, but also by the intensely strict and absurdly specific dress code. Business/evening wear seems simple enough, yet there are rules about when and where men can remove their jacket and what constitutes a tie. “Leather jackets with buttons, dressy blazers, leather pants, and linen suits may also be accepted, unless viewed by management as casual, outer-wear, or unacceptable attire.” Therefore dress at your own risk of not being permitted entrance. Lulu found the four times “NO SHORTS ALLOWED” was expressed about their brunch sittings to be very entertaining, but also she’s not mad at it.
Lulu decides to book their Houdini Seance which includes an elegant meal. She also wants to tempt fate and see if she can get away with a particular outfit. She hits up Neiman Marcus and Net-A-Porter for what are sure to be her new favorite garments, it is to be seen whether she will be deemed appropriately dressed for entrance to the Magic Castle.
Lulu keeps her fingers crossed as she puts on:
this Fendi embossed metallic jersey hoodie - $1290 - surely that can count as an elegant tunic?
these Alexander McQueen Prince of Wales check wool-blend cigarette trousers - $1850 - they’ll definitely achieve attire approval…
and these Christian Louboutin So Kate 120 patent leather pumps - $725 - a staple she needs anyways!
So really it’s just a question of whether the metallic hoodie passes the elegance test.
To really get her evening popping, Lulu’s next stop is the Baked Potato Jazz Club. She gets a couple of drinks and a buffalo bleu chicken potato, which she enjoys while listening to some of the best live music Studio City has to offer. While she’s there she gets some branded merchandise from their gift store.
Lulu wants her final stop to be a posh one so she heads to The Powder Room. She orders a $500 boozy milkshake called “The Velvet Goldmine”, which was featured on an episode of CNBC’s Secret Lives of the Super Rich. A crystal goblet lined with expensive chocolate gets filled with local, organic ice cream, caramelized bananas, Belgian chocolate truffles, a bunch of rare and old liquors in addition to an ounce of Remy Martin Louis 13 cognac which costs over $3200 a bottle. The concoction is then topped with a dusting of 24-karat edible gold flakes and the imbiber is given a Swarovski crystal cocktail ring to take home as a souvenir. I’d say that Lulu did L.A. pretty well, wouldn’t you?
Alison made an interesting choice this week for her trip to Toledo, Ohio. She is staying at a boutique hotel in the nearby suburb of Perrysburg called Belamere Suites. Designed with busy couples who want to getaway without being too far from the kids, these suites while not luxurious do inspire some romance thanks to some specific amenities. We’re talking a private heated swimming pool, large two person whirlpool tub, and a two-person walk-in shower, and a three-sided fireplace at the foot of the bed. And while not a sprawling space, the convenience of a TV on a swivel base so you can watch from the bed, tub, or shower is not lost on Alison. Her Presidential Swimming Pool Suite comes with a catered breakfast delivered to your door! They also offer add-on amenities - roses, chocolate-covered strawberries, and pre-lit candles can be arranged to precede your arrival, or you can book a session with a massage therapist who comes to your suite. They also offer 24/7 anytime delivery to your door freshly baked cookies with milk, pizza, wine, and snack baskets! These suites that look a bit like connected model homes also have attached single car garages, for added convenience. If you truly want to get away from it all in northwestern Ohio.
Extra Virgin Catering Service’s Lamplight Cafe & Bakery, where she chooses a few items from their egg-centric menu. She literally orders every single one of their Eggs Benedicts!
Wanting to take in some art and culture, Alison heads downtown to see the Art Tatum Celebration Column. Built in 2009, the nearly 30-ft tall structure looks like piano keys stacked on top of each other twisting into a spiral. Art was born in Toledo, and his effect on jazz music is felt still in the city. Alison hopes to channel this musical energy as she performs on a nearby street corner with a Kurzweil keyboard and a keyboard amp.
Only in the midwest will you find a spot like this. Tony Packo’s has been selling authentic Hungarian fare like hot dogs and pierogis since 1932. Now people flock to their original location for a bit of Americana with their bites. A trend emerged in the 1970s after Burt Reynolds signed an autograph on a hot dug bun instead of a piece of paper. Now there are many signatures displayed, though they are mostly recreations, as bread disintegrates with time. There are even two President’s John Hancocks gracing framed hot dog holders on the wall. Alison orders ten dogs and a bucket of chili.
Alison visits the Blair Museum of Lithophanes next. What is a lithophane? She had to look it up too. These art pieces made during the Victorian era are designs etched into delicate, thin pieces of stone, usually porcelain. The detai of the image depicted is only seen when the stone is backlit! How cool is that? The museum has fascinating displays and history, definitely worth a look!
Alison decides to spend the rest of her day at Funny Bone Comedy Club. She is excited to see Greg Warren do his stand up act, and to say to her waiter, “two-drink minimum? How about one of every single drink on the menu!” She’s particularly eager to down the Ninja Turtle Martini, slam the Golden Ticket, and sip on the Lara Croft. She also orders fried Oreos, fried Twinkies, and a chocolate lava s’more. We don’t even know what to say about this day.
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