Jackson, Mississippi + Boring, Oregon
Lulu's Animal Planet-style narration of Alison's kids interrupting the recording and the family life reality that ensues is comedic gold. And actually spurns a great idea for moms. If you need time away from your kids, just say you have a podcast, and there you go, a couple of hours of personal time a week! And instead of recording, just "word vomit" - as Lulu puts it - into the universe, and ta-da! Free talk therapy! Alison and Lulu catch up on how their nearing-end-of-year work and life stuff is going, if you want to feel like you are catching up with your favorite gal pals, you can click on the player above to listen. Or if you want to hear about why Lulu is the butt of butt jokes lately, give it a listen!
Alison is a little late to the cult obsession, but she finally got into Schitt's Creek, and finished all five seasons currently on Netflix in about five days. She doubled down so hard that she is mimicking their mannerisms without realizing it. Ew, Alison.
Lulu is currently obsessed with the children's book Muslim Girls Rise written by her friend Saira Mir. Written for girls ages 6-10, with beautiful illustrations abounding, the writing tells tales of amazing Muslim women. It's an incredible book to have for any children, Lulu praises!
Alison is taking a moment to celebrate getting something from her wishlist today. For a secret santa exchange, the person who drew her name listened to several 10K Dollar Day episodes to figure out what Alison would like best. She won Christmas by gifting an electric wine opener, bottles of wine, coasters, and a wine tumbler with a lid. Lulu is wishing for a professional organizer to come and Marie Kondo her space, plus decorate with non-college dorm style organizational furniture. Oh, and she wants a cleaning service once a month. This multifaceted wish is going to the top of her list this Christmas.
Lulu is staying at The Westin in Jackson, Mississippi, one of the most expensive hotels there at around $225-$285 a night for her executive King suite. There's not really a luxury hotel demand in this area, but The Westin is definitely going to be meeting her needs for this luxury day, or any day, really. Lulu is headed to Broad Street Baking Company and Cafe for breakfast where she grabs some grits and a breakfast burrito. She's excited to discover they suggest making it vegetarian by substituting potatoes O'Brien...Alison "discovered" this culinary delight in a previous episode, but neither she nor Lulu quite remember what it is.
Lulu heads to the Mississippi Civil Rights Museum, a spot with eight unique, interactive galleries that educate visitors about "the systematic oppression of black Mississippians and their fight for equality". The central gallery is the exhibit called “This Little Light of Mine.” It features a glowing sculpture that gets brighter and music swells as more and more visitors gather near it. Even imaginarily visiting, you can feel how moving this is.
Lulu opts for the audio tour guide, but rather than using the rental headphones, she brings her own. Choosing these required some research of course, and after perusing Tech Radar's "Best Over Ear Headphones" article, Lulu decides on the Focal Stellia Closed-Back Circum-Aural Over-Ear Headphones, whose "precise separation of the frequencies means that you will probably hear details you’ve never noticed before.” At a sale price of $2100, she's going to be able to pick the Mississippi Civil RIghts Museum audio guide's voices out of any crowd.
Now Lulu heads to Pig and Pint for a barbecue spread. While in Mississippi, she's going for the cola-glazed smoked wings, brisket pork rind nachos, and every southern side you could imagine. Lulu's next stop is Cathead Distillery, where she gets all the gins for her, some gin for souvenirs, and honeysuckle vodka and pecan vodka as souvenirs for her sister.
Dinner is the five-course tasting menu with wine pairing at Parlor Market, and she plans on dessert at Deep South Pops. Sad to discover that they closed at the end of this last month. Perhaps she could make some gin popsicles from her Cathead Distillery haul instead? She spends the evening at Soul Spa, handing them cash hand over fist, $1,000, actually, to benefit from their wide range of pampering services.
She has not come even a little bit close to spending 10K in Jackson, Mississippi, so she buys the same headphones for Alison that she got for herself, and then she bought Alison a new MacBook Pro.
This place is really boring, like it's really called Boring. Boring was the name of the man who founded the town, according to Alison's not-so-lengthy-got-bored-quickly research.
She is staying in nearby town Happy Valley in this VRBO 6,000 square foot home on a hill with views of a much more populated nearby city. Both Boring and Happy Valley are under 30 minute drives from Portland, Oregon, which would have been a much more exciting day. But hey, in this hilltop mansion she has stunning views, a game room, and a hot tub jacuzzi, so she'll be slightly less bored. Since she'll be driving around a bunch, she tries to invigorate her boring day with an exotic, luxury sports car rental from Enterprise. What kind of car, you ask? Alison says since you can't pick it exactly she thinks it'll be like a BMW. Or a Mustang. Not exotic, and not luxury, but you get the idea. Something pretty to drive around in will be nice.
While trying to get the deets on what to do in Boring, Oregon, Alison came across TravelOregon.com's landing page for the town. It simply reads - "Boring is a great little town. It’s got that off-the-beaten track, locals-only, undiscovered territory kind of charm. We currently don’t have any stories or activities for this little gem, so we’re counting on you to go exploring and report back." That's it. That's all. TravelOregon doesn't even have any suggestions for Alison. So finding something great to do in this boring town is a huge responsibility. Or undertaking.
Starting with some breakfast, she heads to Sweet Betty's Bistro, who's logo is anything but boring. Unfortunately it's not even in Boring, but is actually in downtown Gresham. Oh well, the Egg's Benedict was worth the town-hopping.
Now here is something interesting, the North American Big Foot Center is in Boring, Oregon. They have loads of Big Foot artifacts in this museum-esque locale, and you can buy foot print art and themed t-shirts, so obviously Alison has been slightly lifted from her bored state. To further cultivate enthusiasm for Boring, Alison is embarking on the Goth Float, a yearly event where the subcultural gothic community of Boring, Oregon dresses in black and floats down four miles of the Clackamas River together on inner tubes. To fit in, Alison dons this Selene Winter Coat from DollsKill.com.
Next Alison heads to what used to be called The Boring Tavern, Home to the famous boring topless dancers. Now it’s called The Not So Boring Bar and Grill. Alison finds that they no longer have topless dancers, and that someone got shot there last year, about which a fellow customer commented - “In Boring we don’t normally have any violence and stuff like that. Dustin’s a really good guy. We all know him. This is a small town. Everybody knows everybody. Don't know what got into him”. This day is getting more and more interesting (“interesting”…is that the right word?) as she goes along. She's still stopping in for what are supposed to be the best burgers around. And maybe a beer or two, but no brawls, thanks.
That's it, there is nothing else to do in Boring, so she drives to Portland. Directly to Portland's oldest restaurant, Huber's, for a surf and turf dinner, and a $350 2 oz pour of Remy Martin Louis XIII cognac.
She is still not even close to spending $10,000. So Alison is going to throw a boring party. Okay, hopefully it won't be boring, but it's a party IN Boring. She hires a party planner from Portland's Ella Events, giving them $650 to pull together a BYOB street party in front of the Not So Boring Bar. Fliers go out to the 7,762 residents of Boring, Oregon. Accounting for who are according to Alison most-likely-to-not-attend - the introverts, pregnant women, the elderly, picky eaters - she's going to buy pizza for 3,000 people. She used this handy online pizza ordering calculator which suggested that she order 250 pepperoni pizzas, 83 sausage pizzas, 126 cheese pizzas, and 41 mushroom pizzas. And she gets $800 worth of booze, just in case. Hey, that might not be a boring party after all.
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